Hero to Villain

 And the cycle continues.. 

I naively thought I would be immune but I see now that I especially was going to turn into your pariah. I feel enlightened. Of course I went through all the stages: anger, shock, sadness, acceptance, heart broken, and calm. To now: I feel free, happy, and right. When it comes to you blood is not thicker than water. You are a self centered, entitled egomaniac who thrives on being a victim looking for your next hero to turn into your villain. At this point I dont even pity you because I see right through you. But after it all it breaks my heart that the person you love the most is also the person you hate the most and the simplest way to fix it is to save yourself. I hope you find peace in this life or the next. For now I'm closing that door and locking it. 

Dark side of the moon

 It's a wave of anxiety, guilt, trauma that turns around to excitement, relief, and longing. It's begun. I keep holding my breath for the news. The tide is turning. Are you solid on the shore or being taken out in the riptide. I'm experiencing marsh toes. It's the thought process that only I can hear. I enjoy that conversation. The dreams though have been invaded and I'm continuously being dropped into another timeline. I want more free time and more energy but it gets hard. I just hope she sees. 

I felt you in the void

 It was another timeline. I felt connected, chaos, loved and a soul I haven't felt in a very long time. The paranoia creeps in. I hate that feeling so I try to shake it off but they are coming. An endless battle but this time we have a chance.. It's strange and I just want to crawl inside your chest cavity and sink straight into your heart. Ive known you since the beginning. In thid lifetime things are different but in every timeline I have something worth fighting for, no matter the cost. 

 The shift is real, I feel it as it starts in my brain shining through my eyes as a pinhole. A pixelated portal that I must painfully deep dive through. Why can I sense their insincerity (๑>_<๑) but can't give my sincere reaction. Theyre frozen pawns and I've been awakened so I'm dull. My empathy is slowly being destroyed by this reality and that is a tough pill to swallow. Maybe that's my lesson. Either way at least I have my shining light to guide me. The darkness tries to swallow me so I don't like it when it seeps through and my impatient sleep deprived soul doesn't give her my joy. She deserves my attention not my guilt. I'm trying to balance but dear universe the soulless robots are duplicating. The bull rage is brewing... 

Folk Forest

 It's a weird feeling of feelings. It's like the feeling of goose bumps. I over analyze everything. I feel restless but relaxed. I have an immense feeling of pride. She makes us so free feeling. I'm so grateful. I wanna dance under the moon and jump into the leaves. It's gonna be a great week.

Deep breath

 Everything's going to be ok. She's going to be ok. Nothing but peaches n' cream and huckleberry dreams. Thankyou my angels

😻🐈‍⬛💖👩