I want to crawl into a dark comfy hole wrapped up in blankets and surrounded by pillows. My eyes are on a countdown to an explosion and there's a sharp pain inside my brain. I'm swallowing the tears and just moments away from a weep. I'm just so very tired and yet I must press on. There is only one goal now. And he has yet to meet me. I want to wither away into dirt to lessen this pain. I want to lose my mind. No responsibilities no burdens just insane freedom. Past present and future melted into one. I want to burrow deep inside of your chest and crack your rib cage so all I can hear and feel is your heartbeat. To claw away at your flesh and feel...
Nothing.
But there's no such thing I have looked into the abyss and realize the outcome. I am the dredgery of my own sickness and have condemned myself to be part of this ridiculous rouse. I am the lead and yet the stabilized experiment acting out the hypothesis.
One finger hovering over the switch that ends it all.
Time to wake up.